Kyle “Meeeerrrrr” Frtiz: Fantasy Football Genius
In week 8 of the 2014 NFL season, one Kyle Fritz laid to rest any doubts of his genius that remained. He dispatched of the Grain Belts with a nonchalance that made it seem as though they didn’t belong on the same field. Feser’s Grain Belts squad put up their season best total by 18 points and still lost to Fritz’s Papa Ritz by 23. It was an embarrassing affair for Feser, to say the least.
Let’s begin at the draft. Fritz snagged Luck, who would be the highest scorer in the league by a mile, in the 6th round. He snagged Demarco Murray, best RB in the league by a mile, in the 2nd. But the most beautiful move may have been snagging Emmanuel Sanders in the 8th round. He went heavy on the Broncos’ offense, knowing full well that Manning had one last good year in the tank. It paid off handsomely. That kind of foresight is rare.
The flip side of that genius draft is total idiocy, which aptly characterizes Feser’s draft. With the number one pick in the draft, the Grain Belts will take a child beater that will hardly play. With the number 2 pick, they’ll take the most injury-prone back in the league in Ellington. Then injury-prone WR Alshon, injury-prone garbage man Spiller, later non-existent WR Cordarrelle Patterson, and so on. Steaming trash, front to back. It should be pretty obvious at this point that the Grain Belts were very lucky to only lose this contest by 23 when they were so thoroughly overmatched.
I mean, in early November Fritz somehow convinced idiot Feser to trade him Jordan Reed in exchange for overrated, horseshit Eagle Zach Ertz. It was almost a little mean at that point.
Fritz also made some amazing pickups. He had the foresight to secure Justin Forsett after week 1, and he would go on to be one of the best backs in all of 2014. Mid-September he also secured Steve Smith, Sr. Who knew that old timer would ball out so hard? Meeeerrrrr Fritz, that’s who.
Let’s take another look at just how dominant Fritz’s 2014 squad was. They finished the regular season 10-4, and that’s even though they had the 4th-most points in the league thrown up against them. How were they able to post such a record? They scored 2047 god damn points! To put that into context, the average points for by the other teams in the league was 1631. The next highest scoring team in the league was 1815, a full 232 points lower than Fritz’s total. That is fucking insane. If you take Fritz’s average week against the next best average week in the whole league, he outscores them by nearly 17 points per week. That’s like if the Panthers played the Cardinals and were favored by 17. Unreal.
I’m glad I finally lived up to my end of the bet, because the majestic 2014 season Papa Ritz had needed to be documented for future fantasy generations to study.